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Friday, March 21, 2008

#9 Refusing to Take Medicine

In the modern world, there are hundreds of different medicines offering treatments and cures for every single ailment invented. It can be confusing for a Man, figuring out what to take for what. Luckily, there is a simple, and Manly, solution: never take medicine, ever. (One Exception.)

Chances are, at some point in a Man’s life, he will get sick, and when he does, there is sure to be somebody who tells him to take medicine. If this somebody is his wife or mother, she will also make a doctor’s appointment for him, without telling him. When this happens, a Man follows a very simple procedure. For the first quarter of his illness, he must insist he is not sick, it’s just allergies, so he doesn't need medicine and a doctor. Then, for the remaining three quarters, he must say that he was sick, but now is starting to get better, so medicine really wouldn't* do anything. This plan never ever fails.

Some people reading this may ask, “What if a Man gets cancer? What if he gets the bubonic plague?” It is true, these are very serious diseases, but that just means that overcoming these without medicine is all that much more impressive, heroic, even. Look at it this way: getting medicine is like putting up the white flag and saying you can't win on your own. It shows that you have been defeated, by germs/viral things, and that's not Manly. Also, don’t ask stupid questions. The Mantivity score for refusing to take medicine is 2.3.

*Updated thanks to the sniper-like editing style of James, a Man.

4 comments:

Pat said...

Your mantivity scores should be more comparative and less precise. You should compare things in terms of this is manlier than 'that' previous topic, but less manly than 'this' previous topic. It will at least let you reference more posts.

Moreover, you could milk the comedy on this so much. I recommend Maddox's Alphabet of Manliness. Seeing as he doesn't update his site much more than a few times a year, you could really blow up with this kind of topic.

Daniel Boone said...

Thanks for reading. We will consider your thoughts.

James said...

I noticed at the end of the second paragraph, "...he was sick, but now is starting to get better, so medicine really would do anything." There should be a "n't" or "not" after "would". Seems kind of crucial as to make sure the unmanly can't use this against the manly.

Hustla said...

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